You've Always Been Like This

“You’ve always been like this.” You might have heard this sentence at some point in your life.

“But you have always liked to be alone.”

“You have always been my little sweet boy.”

“You have always been stupid.”

“You have always done your food like this.”

“You have always been a quiet observer.”

Yada yada, blah blah blah… but have you seen, what I am now? Well… I mean… of course not, but could you please just try too see me even a little bit? How many times I have heard those sentences, straight on like that or twisted, but the context stays the same. You may have been asked to act normal by someone? But what does it really mean in the end? If being normal human is the same my father asks of me to be, then this world would be even more in chaos. Maybe it is normal to backstab people, curse them and tell lies about them behind their back, be as emotionless and just keep on going, because there’s no need for breaks, relaxing or sleep, never listen to your wife and take responsibility of your actions, break up with your wife and make your kids life miserable, do and listen everything media tells you, never question anything and never listen to anyone else’s opinions, lie about yourself and twist your life stories, so you could be seen stronger, work hard and never achieve anything, never get to know your children for what they are and instead rise every single one in a same way, the “normal” way, Your kids are stupid, if they don’t think the same way, like the others.

Okay, do I even have to keep going? I think, I got my point very clear. What If I’m not someone else’s normal, who am I? Why do everyone keep saying, I have always been like this and that? Why can’t they see or approve my growth? Why have I always been like this?

I have grown alot as a person and as a man, after I met my lovely wife. Who could’ve thought, that sometimes to really grow, you just have to… stay still and think. Listen to God, your partner, yourself and your surroundings. I have deleted toxic people from my life. They couldn’t accept the real me, so why would I keep them around? I’m not a Mr. NiceGuy anymore. I question everything I see. I love to make enemies, just because I live in truth. I have lost weight, gained muscle, gotten better at music and voice control. Gotten better self esteem.

There’s still alot to explore and uncover about myself, but if it takes me closer to unravel the real me, sign me in. I have been blessed with a most greatest and sweetest partner in my life, my wife. I know, not so many people are with good and understanding partner. That's why there’s one pretty clear advice for me to give you. Stay still and think. Don’t full your mind with videos, someone else’s opinions about you, gaming or social media and media in general. Just take at least 15 minutes to stay still and think. Be with yourself and understand you. My wife wrote a little story about staying still for 15 minutes a day and won herself a place in a book, that can be used in teachings and stuff. Staying still and thinking was crucial part for me in my growth. I hope it’ll be for someone else too.

I have to remind myself too, not to say: “You’ve always been like this” to anyone. Everyone must have a chance to grow and get to know themselves better, even if you and I didn’t like the real person behind the shell. This is how it is. Growing takes time, but man, it is worth it. You may have always been like this, but it doesn’t need to stay that way. Embrace the real normal. Embrace the real you.