Life I Want

All the bouncing titties on my screen, all the worlds to explore, all the skills to acquire, do quests together with some random people who I don’t even know and get all the ladies to shake their ass for me! What’s more better way to live than in this kind of reality? Yeah… it hurts more than I can even admit. It kills something in you. Your humanity, own way of thinking, losing touch with reality, losing your skill to speak properly, seeing women as an object of pleasure. Fun right? It feels like giving your soul to these things. It even might be just that, if you’re not careful. I lived like this in the false reality for a long time. Almost too long. I was already depressed, anxious and shy. Yet, I breeded more of these just to get much larger problems in the end. Don’t get me wrong, I love games. I still play them today and like to adventure in a different imaginative world from time to time. I love the imagination and stories in them, because in games, opportunities are endless. You can get someone to think outside of the box, problems and world in general, or help them process emotions. You can even save someone's life through a video game! But real life is more than that. Here you can really be someone. You can even have sex for real, if you just get your stuff together.

What most screwed me up, was porn. It sucked me dry, no pun intended. The last drop of energy just sucked out of me. I felt good for 9 seconds, but after that? Complete emptiness. Just sat there, in the same room where I’ve always been sitting, in front of my computer. Alone and powerless, continuing my journey to watch some YouTube videos or play games. Real danger for me was porn. If I didn’t masturbate for a day, I got withdrawal symptoms. Usually I got angry or stressed out.

It is something that really had my soul for a long time. I have broken free from it, by the miracles of God. I’m still recovering from it, but I’m getting better.

Life here on earth isn’t easy, I know, but you can always start anew and fight against the evil. Good guys will always win bad guys in a way or another. Good guys usually gets the worst bias from everyone. This is how it sadly is… but still this is the life I want. I love to fight for my beloveds. Hope you do too.