In His Arms

After everything I have witnessed, felt and struggled with, I can sit down and rest safely in His arms. I lie down, full of questions, full of anger, but He’s here to help me out. “It is simple”, He says and continues: “Just do the things you’re good at and do it for me.” It took a while to find my purpose and meaning in life, but here I am, making art, stories and especially music.

Fellow Christians kept talking about missionary work and going abroad, that everyone should do it, because God wants us to do it. We need to forget ourselves and keep pushing forward and work hard to Jesus or you lose your faith and place in heaven. I was anxious every time I heard these kind of things. Why must I do it, if I can’t feel it? Same thing goes to gospel music. Everyone in churches and meetings were waving their hands and praising Lord at full lung capacity. Why can’t I feel it? What am I doing wrong? This doesn’t feel right for some reason… am I even in faith?

Many twists and turns later, I found myself making this album and having book and game ideas about God, but in a humaine way. Way, that doesn’t push Jesus’ name down non believers throats and keep them even more away from God. J.R.R Tolkien was Christian too and the widely known books “The Lord of the Rings” and many others from the same universe, were his way to tell about God, hope, humanity and corruption. Art, music and stories are meant to push boundaries and go beyond imagination. Talk about God, while not shedding a single word about Him, because for us humans, Jesus’ and God’s name always make some kind of reaction. Anger, joy, hate, sadness, whatever it is, it’s always something. This is my way to talk about corruption and evilness and at the same time, hope.

Sometimes I listen to gospel music and like it, but there are so few good and interesting gospel songs to like. So, here’s my idea of gospel I would like to hear more of. Of course here I rap and there are so… many… Christian rap songs out there… including all the pop songs. Oh, and the way, they repeat the same sentences over and over. I, on the other hand, want to have more epic music about God.

My wife answered to my concern beautifully: “I think, it’s meant to make you think about God and hear Him through music. Gospel music is a way to connect with God and be easily dragged into the praise. It can also be prayer.”

Still I have trouble with some of the music, but hey, I’m still growing as a Christian and I keep growing, until He takes me with Him. Evil might have had me in its grips, but now, I have it in my girp. Man, does it feel good to know, even though demons would try to make attacks on you, you can still easily just say “Jesus” and the thing burns painfully and returns back to hell. After everything, I’m ready to slay the demons as well. Get back my lost youth and time.

This song is also my middle finger to satan. It may have had my soul, when I still listened to its lies and fakeness, but not anymore. Because I have the most powerful being in the whole universe taking care of me. I can now be at peace and rest in His arms for eternity.